I'm going to get a dog to protect my house

Me: I'm going to get a dog to protect my house.

The Dog:

Oh, the classic case of expecting a guard dog but ending up with a furry feline in disguise! It's like signing up for a bouncer and getting a chill yoga instructor instead. The dog's out here lounging like a cat, probably plotting world domination one nap at a time. Who needs a watchdog when you've got a dog-camouflaged cat on duty, right? Home security level: expert at blending in with the furniture! Stay tuned for more tales of unexpected pet shenanigans in the wild world of "Fur-tastic Surprises"!