Five Essential Rules for Finding the Perfect Man (and Why They Should Never Meet!)

Five Essential Rules for Finding the Perfect Man (and Why They Should Never Meet!)

The Ultimate Guide to Dating: A Mother’s Wisdom

So, my mother decided to share her top five rules about men with me, and let me tell you, they are nothing short of a masterpiece in comedy. Here’s the rundown:

— Get a man who helps around the house: In other words, find a guy whose idea of “cleaning up” doesn’t just involve moving his pizza boxes from the couch to the floor. You know, someone who understands that the vacuum isn’t just a myth.

— Get a man who makes you laugh: Because what’s better than sharing a life with a comedian? Just be sure he doesn’t have the skills of a professional stand-up, or you might find yourself as the subject of his next bit!

— Get a man who's honest and respectful: Ah yes, the unicorn of the dating world. The one who actually listens when you say, “I’m fine,” and doesn’t respond with, “You’re fine? What’s that, a new salad dressing?”

— Get a man who likes sex and is good in bed: Because let’s face it, if he combines the energy of a sloth with the sense of direction of a broken GPS, it’s going to be a long night!

— Oh, and it’s really important that these four men never meet: Now, here’s the real kicker. Imagine the chaos if they all showed up at the same barbecue! It would be like a sitcom gone horribly wrong, with each guy trying to prove he’s the best while you stand there, popcorn in hand, just waiting for the fireworks.

So there you have it, folks! A mother’s sage advice on finding love—or at least a good laugh. Just remember, if you do meet these four men, maybe invest in a good set of therapy sessions... or a very large, very well-locked closet!